Tuesday, July 28, 2015

10 Reasons Why Being Blind Sucks BY MICHELLEBOTHA1

I really enjoyed this post titled 10 Reasons Why Being Blind Sucks by MICHELLEBOTHA1 So I decided to share. I am going to come up with my one reasons.  And I would encourage other people to come up with their own post as well. I feel that there are some lesser known benefits to being blind that need to be shared. They may seem a tad insignificant in the face of, um, being blind but hey, I say take what you can get.

1: It’s a massive saving
So I literally spend R260 a month on transport. That’s a monthly train ticket and for the rest of the time I bum lifts off anyone who’s going my way. And can anyone roll their eyes, ask me to contribute towards petrol, mutter, “Aargh, I wish she’d just get her licence already”? No, because I’m blind and that would be rude to blind people. I also assume that I save quite a bit on make-up which I have no idea how to apply and never intend to try mostly because by the time my face completely disintegrates I will be absolutely incapable of witnessing the carnage so we’re all good. This actually also saves me an amazing amount of time. Unlike many women I can be ready for work in about 20mins which means more sleep for me and thus more happiness.

2: You are never designated driver 
I’m not what you’d call a heavy drinker but it is nice to know that wherever I am I can sit back, relax and enjoy a glass of wine or three knowing that I will not have to drive anywhere.

3: People are only too willing to serve you
I get waited on hand and foot all the time. “Can I pour you a drink…can I bring you some cake…don’t worry I’ll fetch your coat”. At parties all I have to do is stand still and wait for people to give me things. By the time I’ve said, “Hm, I think I’d like…” there are two or three eager assistants leaping to their feet. On a cruise, it’s never my turn to go and get some drinks. It’s always my turn to, “…just stay lying here in the sun to selflessly keep our spots”.

4: You never have to sign up to “help out”
Ugh, let’s be honest “helping out’ rosters suck. They mean getting there early or staying late or giving up a holiday but I have a lifetime exemption. I’m blind, I’m literally incapable of washing dishes, packing away chairs or helping with your wedding decor. I’m not even joking – I really just get in the way during en masse chores. I can totally do my own dishes when it’s just me and the detergent but put me in a group and I just can’t take the initiative because I can’t see what needs doing and who’s doing what. So I just call “I’m blind” and that’s the end of that.

5: You are credited with sage-like wisdom
Us blind people see with our hearts and love you for who you are and can sense your true self with our soul-piercing super senses and stuff. You can learn all kinds of important life lessons from us like don’t take the sight of the mountain for granted and beauty is only skin deep and eat your carrots for lots of vitamin A.

6: Manicures and Pedicures are a monthly must have and not a luxury
What I’m not spending on a car and petrol I am spending on a monthly once over at the beautician so that works out quite well I feel. For most women a beauty treatment is a treat but for me it is a monthly necessity simply because I cannot cut my nails, shave my legs or pluck my eyebrows without causing myself grievous bodily harm. So I get to relax and let a pro do it without feeling the tiniest bit extravagant.

7: You can’t see people checking out your ungainly dance moves 
I do actually enjoy a good wiggle every now and again mostly in the privacy of my own space and usually in my underwear (just putting that out there) but when I do venture out I can truly enjoy myself without worrying about who’s checking me out (and not in a good way in an “Oh, that’s unfortunate” way). It’s kind of like when little kids fail at hide and seek. You know when you find them standing in the middle of a room with their hands over their eyes – if I can’t see you, you can’t see me. It’s pretty liberating actually.
8: You have a sure-fire escape from tele-marketers and cult evangelists

“Hi, would you like a pamphlet and an awkward exchange about my cult which I’d like you to join so I can get a reduction on my cult membership fees?”
“No, sorry I’m blind so unless you have an accessible copy…what a pity, bye”.
My standard response to tele-marketers is, “I’m sorry, I’m blind and I’m trying to *insert activity e.g. make lunch, wash the cat, sew a button* and my life is really difficult”.
9: You will garner high acclaim for your most minor achievements

I did an awareness talk at a primary school a while ago and this room of little kids literally broke into raucous applause when I took a sip of water. People say “well done” when I sit on a chair, make a cup of tea, put together a nice outfit – it’s great to be constantly affirmed.
10: You have a topic for awkward party small talk that never dries up 
 So as an introvert I pretty much can’t stand awkward party small talk. I’m really not a fan of that silent moment filled by phrases like, “Um…so…” But as a blind person (and for many people, the first blind person they’ve ever met) I have a plethora of fun anecdotes and am happy to answer all the usual questions I have to field like, “So how much can you see?” in order to avoid the “Do you know so and so” game which usually happens soon after, “So what do you do?”
So there you have it, the unsung benefits of blindness. Any to add fellow blindies?

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